I just want to share this reading to people everywhere. I must admit that I’m not an expert on the subject as I’ve always have to remind myself of this. It’s an excerpt from Andrew Matthew’s book “Making Friends” on the subject of “Criticism”:
Points to remember about criticism:
A) Criticism doesn’t work
B) People rarely blame themselves
C) If you blame other people, they blame you!
It is OK for me occasionally to find fault with myself, but if you do it, that is a whole different matter!
It is fascinating, isn’t it? It’s OK for us to find faults with our attitude, our mother, our fae, our city, our friends, our figure, but if anyone else should find fault, look out!
Criticism is the fastest way to create resentment and destroy a relationship. Our egos are so fragile that strong disapproval hits us like a sledge-hammer. The moment we are criticised, we justify, we blame, we shout. Often we leave.
Criticism is destructive. If your secretary won’t do the job, criticism will make her more lazy. If your son is wetting his bed, criticism will make him a chronic case. It paralyzes, angers and provokes. It is asking for trouble.
In A Nutshell:
If you want to preserve relationships and get results from people, you must be sensitive to their egos. Be honest and be encouraging. Where applicable -
1. Praise before criticising
2. “Remind” rather than tell people
3. Admit to the fault yourself
4. Look to the future rather than blame for the past
actually pare, there are 3 types of critics…one who expresses a reasoned judgement, the other could be a professional who makes an analysis and interpretation in any works and the worst guy is the one who frequently finds fault and makes harsh and unfair judgements. yung last one, maraming taong ganyan…and i say to them…”may they all vanish from the face of the earth”…nice post, bro!