It’s post christmas time, and we have one more work day to finish. What was good about working in this holiday season is that there’s no rush. Traffic was smooth, less people walking outside and there’s no rush in work.
Honestly though I feel a bit gloomy and all. Though I chose not to acknowledge it but I’m kind of lonely out here. Is this the case of christmas depression? Why? I guess I’m feeling left out. Is this the price of knowing too much which alienates me from other people? Or am I just too dull to be of company? Or maybe I’m just plain ‘ol dark and ugly that people doesn’t want to see me around? Today I left the office feeling a bit bad. Why? because I didn’t say goodbye to a constant companion of mine for a half year. I guess I just didn’t want to be left in the shadows and strike on my own as I did before. Some people just don’t need me around anymore and I’m not gonna force myself to be needed. They have other friends to hang out with anyways so who needs me anyways?
On my way home I bumped into a very close HighSchool friend of mine who I haven’t seen in years inside the jeep. Somehow we lost touch and if I hadn’t gone that path I wouldn’t have seen him again. It was refreshing to hear some news from him and learning that some of our “schoolmates” were already married at this time. He now works as a salesperson for this “Copylandia Company” and seems to be doing ok with it. I guess it was those times in which you wish traffic was slow so we could catch up.
It got me thinking after I got home. I am never alone. It made me think what matters most is that there are also other people looking for your attention somehow and you don’t acknowledge it because you are focused too much on one thing. There will always be other people who needs you. If I find myself lonely there is always my art to turn into. My left fingers are aching right now after playing my guitar the whole day yesterday. Thinking of buying a new one though because its strings are quite hard. There are also my illustrations, my poetry. They are my contant companions and will always be there. And somewhere I believe, there is a lonely soul out there the same as me who’s just waiting for the right time and place.
Jeesh I’m so melodramatic. I can’t wait to run tomorrow to get it all out of my system…