Christmas Blues

It’s post christmas time, and we have one more work day to finish. What was good about working in this holiday season is that there’s no rush. Traffic was smooth, less people walking outside and there’s no rush in work.

Honestly though I feel a bit gloomy and all. Though I chose not to acknowledge it but I’m kind of lonely out here. Is this the case of christmas depression? Why? I guess I’m feeling left out. Is this the price of knowing too much which alienates me from other people? Or am I just too dull to be of company? Or maybe I’m just plain ‘ol dark and ugly that people doesn’t want to see me around? Today I left the office feeling a bit bad. Why? because I didn’t say goodbye to a constant companion of mine for a half year. I guess I just didn’t want to be left in the shadows and strike on my own as I did before. Some people just don’t need me around anymore and I’m not gonna force myself to be needed. They have other friends to hang out with anyways so who needs me anyways?

On my way home I bumped into a very close HighSchool friend of mine who I haven’t seen in years inside the jeep. Somehow we lost touch and if I hadn’t gone that path I wouldn’t have seen him again. It was refreshing to hear some news from him and learning that some of our “schoolmates” were already married at this time. He now works as a salesperson for this “Copylandia Company” and seems to be doing ok with it. I guess it was those times in which you wish traffic was slow so we could catch up.

It got me thinking after I got home. I am never alone. It made me think what matters most is that there are also other people looking for your attention somehow and you don’t acknowledge it because you are focused too much on one thing. There will always be other people who needs you. If I find myself lonely there is always my art to turn into. My left fingers are aching right now after playing my guitar the whole day yesterday. Thinking of buying a new one though because its strings are quite hard. There are also my illustrations, my poetry. They are my contant companions and will always be there. And somewhere I believe, there is a lonely soul out there the same as me who’s just waiting for the right time and place.

Jeesh I’m so melodramatic. I can’t wait to run tomorrow to get it all out of my system…

Merry Christmas

Attached the illustration I made for a certain online mag but it’s still not out yet so here it is.

It’s christmas day today. And just a couple of hours ago the house was filled with people and noise. It was okay, I got ued to it as every year it’s been like a tradition. But it was okay. Its a bit fun to see all your relatives gather around and all your cash fly away in just a few momments. Hehehe.

It was a good thing I was able to control my eating last night during Noche Buena. I wouldn’t want to go back to my fat size before. We had gifts this time, my brother was kind enough to give all of us gifts while selfish-me attempted for sometime to buy gifts for other people and ended up buying for myself. Bought a short for my dad but I was given a bad waistline size. Sigh.

And how did I spend my Xmas morning, by watching “Whisper of the Heart” anime by studio Ghibli before my relatives arrived. And I reallly enjoyed the movie, one of the best I anime movies I have seen for some time. It really made me all mushy and inspired. I really like the main charater’s translation of John Denver’s song “Take me Home, Country Road”. I got the lyrics translation from the anime but it’s not quite the same as the subtitles from the movie.

I dreamed of living
without fear of being alone
Bottling up loneliness
I’ll go, preserving my strong self

Country Road, If you follow
this road all the way, I have a feeling
it’s the Country Road to my home town

No matter when I get sad
I never cry
Without meaning to, my pace quickens
To erase the memories

Country Road, even if this road
continues to my home town
I won’t go, you know
The Country Road I can’t take

Country Road, tomorrow
I’ll be the same, you know
I want to go home but I can’t
Farewell, Country Road

Enjoy the rest of Christmas day!!!

No Music

This is so annoying, I forgot to bring my earphones at work and now I’m stuck in the silence. No music to motivate me to work. Music is like my life and I can’t go on without it somehow. It’s like the soundtrack of my life. I think I better buy a new one if I have extra money and leave that one here at the office.

It’s a few days before christmas and I haven’t done any gift shoppiing for my family. It’s really hard to find a nice suitable gift you see. I’d like to give money instead but it’s different if there’s a lot of gifts under the tree and the exciting part of opening a gift adds to that. I was shopping yesterday but I ended up shopping for myself. 😛

I’m still trying to figure out where to go this last week of December. I already filed my leave for the the 29th and 30th and I wouldn’t want to waste it. Was supposed to go to Bicol with “Lakbay” on the 26th, but I have to accompany my sister to the airport on the 28th. Already have 2 choices though, it’s either I go to Sagada again, explore those places I failed to visit then and spend my New Year there, just for a change of scene, or go to Baler, Aurora which I haven’t been to really but I heard is quite a nice place. I have to wiegh both options which is more advantageous and cheap enough for me. Might go on a lonely planet again since no one around would be accompanying me.

Events Events

Murder by Design

It’s been an eventful weekend. Well there’s the MBD (Murder by Design) conference, 1st in the Philippines where a number of designers converge and the top of the line graphic artist, motion graphic artist and Webdesigners share their working processes and procedures to give insight on how they work. Really enjoyed Robert Alejandro’s vast works on design both on books to architecture, Avid’s Ocho-ocho dance as well as his guidelines and sourcefiles on his MTV’s like Nina’s “Loving You”, Team Manila, Furball, Half Project…. Since this is the first I bet the next one would be much better. More pics at Philweaver’s Site. I’m in a couple of pictures there if can recognize me. Hehehe 😛

Murder by Design

Also something from our Company’s Xmas Party. Here we are singing our own version the “12 days of Xmas”, seriuosly at the stage with our painted animal masks. We only won the last place though. Hehe, since we only practiced our “IT dept’s 12 days of Xmas” that afternoon. But it was fun though.

No Rest for the Weary

My head is throbbing right now, it’s either those bar drinks, rio martini or those arctic’s got into my head or my sinus is killing me. Or also maybe my head is still pounding from that loud house music as I dance on the floor with my two left feet. Ahhh, just when I needed some rest I stayed another late night at our company’s Christmas party.

Well it was a somewhat fun party anyways, entertaining at least and those bar drinks was a nice taste.

A friend of mine lost his cellphone yesterday and it was funny that he wasn’t expecting to win anything. All his life he has never won a raffle and that night he won the first consolation prize raffle and he wasn’t expecting. Did the event of loosing his cellphone changed his luck?

Got this song playing in my head. Since I saw a localband “Hourglass” play this “Marilyn Scott” original, it somehow got stuck. Maybe it’s the message? Well here’s it’s lyrics, I would sing it to you If you can hear me. hehehe

If today were the last of all days
Would it change how you feel, who you are
Would you rise for a moment above all your fears
Become one with the moon and the stars

Would you like what you see looking down
Did you give everything that you could
Have you done everything that you wanted to do
Is there still so much more that would?

Follow your dream to the end of the rainbow
Way beyond one pot of gold
Open your eyes to the colors around you
And find the true beauty life holds

Would you live for the moment like when you were young
Time didn’t travel so fast
Be free in the present
Enjoying the now
Not tied to a future or past.

You would probably say all you wanted to say
But doesn’t is Strike you as strange
That we’d only begin to start living our lives
If today were the last of all days

“The Last Day”

Lyrics by: Brenda Russell/John Ewbank
From the CD “Avenues of Love” Artist: Marilyn Scott


I think I’m going down with a Flu or fever, it’s been almost a week since I had my cough and colds, if it continues on I had to see a doctor by next week. It’s our christmas in a few hours and I don’t think I’ll stay that long. I need to rest so I’ll have energy tomorrow for the “Murder by Design” conference. I guess fatigue and exhaustion took it’s toll. My body is telling me to slow down a bit.

Had some wierd and funny dreams this morning, a series of dreams which I hadn’t had in a while. I guess I was too busy to mind them.

Gotta rest soon….

Looking for Bassist and Guitarist

Hey pips!! Helping out a friend here, maybe some of you or you know someone who’s interested.



Our band is looking for a bass player and a guitar player . Our music genre ranges from Metal sub genres Grindcore , Hardcore, Nu-Metal to Alternative, Punk, Ska, Thrash. (Well you’ll get the idea.)

Deftones, Hatebreed, Hum, Sepultura, Incubus and Soulfly. (just to name a few of our our influences).

You can get in touch with me via e-mail:
[email protected] I could e-mail you zipped mp3 of our demo.

Muchoz Graciaz,